How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
