We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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