I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
