My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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