I wish I could teleport
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Holy shit dude........stairs
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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