i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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