I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
