You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
