this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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