I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
