Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
