There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
