I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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