Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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