I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
