I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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