I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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