It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
