she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We have started to decorate penises.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
