Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
