you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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