Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize