That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize