you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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