Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
