omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
