PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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