sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize