The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
