I didn't shave. On purpose
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
