ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize