my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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