I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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