Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Boobs are out for the taking
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
