dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
