I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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