Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
there is glitter all over my balls
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
