we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
