Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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