After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize