Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
