i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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