He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
