PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
