I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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