Where is the hickey?
I will die if light touches me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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