did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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