You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
