please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize