You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
