weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
