Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
