My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
