see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
