Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
