weddingsv make me drug and hornr
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
