like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
