Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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