I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
