I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize