my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
