so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
