there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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